trauma informed IFS couples therapy in san francisco berkeley oakland

Couples Therapy & Counseling in Berkeley & the Bay Area

A healthy relationship is, at its best, messy.

We are imperfect, insecure, and hurt people trying our best to love. We try to control, blame, or stonewall our partner when we don't feel safe. We forget that our partner is not our parent. We believe they are both the source of our suffering and the key to our liberation.

We want to be held — and free.

If any of this sounds familiar, couples therapy can help.

Signs your relationship could benefit from therapy:‍ ‍

  • The same argument keeps happening no matter how many times you resolve it

  • You feel more like roommates than partners

  • One or both of you shuts down during conflict

  • Trust has been broken and you're not sure how to rebuild it

  • You love each other but struggle to actually feel close

  • Past trauma is showing up in your relationship in ways you don't fully understand

How I work with couples:

I'm Noah Eastman, LMFT, and I specialize in IFS-informed couples therapy and counseling for partners navigating childhood trauma, neurodivergence, and relational difficulties in Berkeley, Oakland, and San Francisco.

IFS (Internal Family Systems) is a powerful framework for couples work because it helps each partner understand the different "parts" of themselves that show up in conflict — the part that gets defensive, the part that withdraws, the part that needs reassurance. When you can see your own patterns clearly, you stop projecting them onto your partner.

In our work together you'll learn to:

  • Take accountability for the ways your inner child gets in the way of grounded, heart-centered communication

  • Begin the honest dialogue you've been putting off for too long

  • Repair after a rupture and rebuild trust

  • Communicate your dreams and fears without defensiveness

  • Foster secure attachment and heal from childhood wounding

  • See yourself and your partner more clearly by taking back negative projections

You don't have to keep having the same fight.

Most couples come to therapy not because they don't love each other, but because they've run out of tools. Therapy gives you new ones — and a safe space to practice using them together.

  • Whether you're searching for couples therapy or couples counseling in Berkeley, Oakland, or San Francisco, the goal is the same — to help you and your partner feel more connected, understood, and equipped to navigate conflict together. I offer in-person couples counseling in Berkeley, Oakland, and San Francisco, and online therapy throughout California.

Schedule a Free Consultation